Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Cannonball Read #9: Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer

I really don't know why I keep reading the Twilight books. I honestly don't enjoy them. I hate almost every single character. The writing is genuinely bad. REALLY bad. Meyer doesn't seem to grasp the idea that plot development isn't achieved by talking about it...it's about, oh I don't know, writing scenarios and motivations that advance the narrative and the characters' perspectives? It's 400 pages of discussing what could happen, just how fucking beautiful Edward is, just how individual and fascinating Bella is, and then 50 pages of action.

My favorite part of the book was a line that, though this may not be completely verbatim, comes rather close..."You know Bella, for a teenager, you are remarkably unwhiny."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Jesus CHRIST lady, do you have ANY insight into your characters?

I have to finish though. I HAVE to. I already got this far, and to be honest with myself, my morbid curiousity has bested me once again. When I opened this book for the first time, I was giggling to myself. Because they are ridiculous. My roommate can only shake her head and laugh at me. Which is pretty much what I do each time I turn the page.

I had to cleanse my palate with this:

Because cheesy wereteenbitches make me laugh my ass off. Especially when she tries to cut off her tail.

3 comments:

Mr. Controversy said...

I share your pain. I just finished Book 1 yesterday, and I'm taking a sanity break before Book 2. It's curiousity that keeps us reading...bright, sparkling, morbid curiousity; along with the desire to tell Stephenie Meyer to STFU and know what the Hell we're talking about. Hang in there! (And hell yes on Ginger Snaps. I had such a crush on the older sister, back in the day.)

Julie said...

They're so unintentionally funny. And I read a plot development from book four that had me and my roommate in stitches, so I'll be reading the crap out of it once I steal someone's copy.

Marra Alane said...

You know what? The last one is actually kind of good. Well, I should qualify that. It's good compared to the others, which puts it just about a short story I wrote in 6th grade that ended with the line "and then I woke up, it was all a dream."